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Pirate's Luck To Forbidden Passengers Free Serial Ficton

Pirate’s Luck~Chapter Eleven-To Forbidden Passengers

Pirate’s Luck~Chapter Eleven-To Forbidden Passengers published on No Comments on Pirate’s Luck~Chapter Eleven-To Forbidden Passengers

Pirate's Luck To Forbidden Passengers Free Serial Ficton

This week’s chapter is another of Chuck Wendig’s flash fiction challenge this time titled Ten More Sentences; Round Two. That’s self explanatory. You should be able to read this as a stand alone, but let me know if you can’t. 🙂

TO FORBIDDEN PASSENGERS

In the end, they ran. The group of them, now four, when before they were three, were spotted by one of the slavers as they slipped from the maze of cages that had held their prize. This was the young man they had stolen to conscript as crew on their ship.

The young man they “rescued” stayed close, his legs pumping as hard as theirs under the blazing white sun of a planet who life expectancy was comparatively short. But humans resided on it now, low and crass as this class was, and they only cared about the air, water and sunlight on it. It was a haven in the vastness of a Universe that served up few of the necessities of life.

But right now, Arekan’s and his fellows necessity was to make their ship, board it, and hope to hell that the captain or the pilot could make way before an Oshijian Empire war cruiser could shoot the pirate ship out of the black.

But the run was difficult. It was hot, humid and the air a touch too thin for physical exertion. But more than that the predations of life aboard the pirate ship—his ship, thought Arekan regretfully—took a toll on his body. He gasped for breath as his legs pumped against gravity that was a full half gee above what the captain set for gravity on the ship. And that little economy move, Arekan realized now, weakened his body.

No wonder the others didn’t want to leave the pirate ship.

Dissolute gits. (Click to read more)

Image by Starry Night Graphix

Book Review: Angeli, The Pirate, The Angel and the Irishman

Book Review: Angeli, The Pirate, The Angel and the Irishman published on No Comments on Book Review: Angeli, The Pirate, The Angel and the Irishman

I was given a book to review, so here goes:

Angeli - The Pirate, the Angel & the IrishmanAngeli – The Pirate, the Angel & the Irishman by Amy Vansant
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I was given a free copy by the author in exchange for an honest review.

If it were possible I would give this story three and a half stars.

There are many creative notions in this book. The idea of angels trying to redeem their own kind that had fallen and falling far short of their goal was interesting. I liked the idea of a strong female protagonist. The idea that angels worked their chosen servants without being totally up front with them tracked well. Even though Miss Vansant had many story elements, perhaps too many, she tied them all nicely together by the end.

Brief (and totally unrevealing) synopsis: Anne Bonny had a very brief career as a pirate in the 1700’s and was tapped by the mysterious Angeli, angels to us mortal folk, to work with them to help “reap” angels corrupted by a mysterious disease that turned them evil. But all does not go according to plan, and by the end of the book we find out that something else entirely is going on with the corruption of the angels.

To facilitate her duties, Anne, along with her fellow Sentinels, is given a 1,000 year life span, so by the time her story catches up with present day, she’s only one third into that. But, she might not make it to her thousand years as she seems to be targeted by one of the Perfidia, which is highly unusual for the corrupted beings.

Add to this, not one by two complicated romances and Anne has more than her hands full. One romance is with her Angeli handler, Michael, a very self-assured and even arrogant archangel who is drawn to Anne. Their attraction is complicated by (implied) forbidden nature of their relationship and the fact that Sentinel powers include the ability to drain the life force of angels. Angels can do the same thing to humans, so you can imagine that when these two get up front and personal, real jeopardy is attached. The second relationship is with her fellow Sentinel, Con Carey, a brash Irish lad who was once Anne’s Sentinel trainee. Their relationship is complicated by Con’s unfortunate loss of his body during a particularly troublesome Perfidia reaping. However, instead of going to the great beyond, Con hangs around Anne discorporeally, occasionally hi-jacking an unsuspecting human’s body so he could speak with her. And drink, because, um, Irishmen drink. Con, as you can imagine, is not happy with the present state of affairs, especially with Anne’s on again, off again affair with Michael. Yeah, there is a little tension in the room when Michael and Con are both there.

With all this wonderful stuff, you wonder how things can go wrong in telling this story.

We start this story with Anne’s present day life, then we zip back to her early history, then are fast forwarded 100 years to tell of the aforementioned troublesome reaping, and then fast forwarded to present day. All this time travel gave me a headache, (and pulled me out of the story.) IMO inclusion of key elements to the story could be handled in a less jarring way such as discussion about the events, or even Anne having a traumatic recurring dream about some of the events.

Additionally, there is some overwriting of the prose. Consider this passage:

Anne’s new table guest sat grinning, thin and pale as an untoasted wafer, but with the fiery eyes of a rebellious imp eager to be unleashed. She’d known the minute she heard the accent that the boy’s body had been appropriated by a friend of hers, Con Carey, who had lost his own corporeal body some years ago .

IMO, thin and pale is sufficient, “as an untoasted wafer” is going over the top. The revelation of Con discomporeal nature was handled offhandedly even though he is an important character in the book. And the second sentence is just too long. And it goes on like this through out the book.

Second, I had a difficult time relating to some of the characters, Michael in particular. I couldn’t for the life of me see why Anne would be so hot for him. He seemed too aloof, too arrogant for me to warm to. Con was interesting and he provided some comic relief. One of the most interesting characters was the bad guy, who seem more developed than Anne, Con or Michael. Ironically, he seemed to understand more about the nature of the Universe than the other supposedly more enlightened beings. Sadly, I found the character of Anne just a caricature of the “bad-ass woman” who despite her superpowers had few real insights on her own situation. She was reactive, rather than proactive, acting as a tool for the male characters surrounding her.

Lastly, despite having 32 chapters in the book, the thing just ends without a real resolution. I suppose this is meant as a cliffhanger. But a real cliffhanger has you asking, “but what happens next.” This ending didn’t do that for me.

A great book has me reading beginning to end non-stop. I was able to put this down without problems. Not that it didn’t have fun elements, it did, and it was entertaining. It’s just that it could be better.

View all my reviews

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